“But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations”.
I was messaging a friend of mine over her struggles with how she handled herself in relating to a guy she cared about. She made a statement that lead me to my laptop to start this blog. She stated, “knowing that God is control is so freeing. It makes me be more authentic with myself and with [the guy]… I don’t have to be the perfect girl!”My heart soared.
Myles Munroe said in his book Understanding the Purpose and Power of Woman: a book for women and the Men Who Love them that “[God’s] purpose will be accomplished. No one can interfere with or hinder it. When [God] gives a purpose to something, your plans, ideas, opinions, perceptions, and prejudices ..are inapplicable.” I think that list of inapplicable things should include our mess-ups, silly moments, and our disagreements. If we would just understand that God can take care of the silly thing we said, the mistake we made, or even the blatant wrong thing we did, we would probably lose some of the anxiety we place on ourselves in relationships.
In a world where we girls are pressured by external standards to be witty, cute, charming and have a healthy understanding of sports, cars, and sci-fi its normal for us to want to gauge all we say and do in order to maintain the illusion of perfection to our desired mate. Added to this list are the requirements of a godly woman which include: display submission, gentleness, and a working knowledge of the Word. Sister, we have a quite a list of things to accomplish. And what about men? Well, they are told, to have purpose, be able to lead, be able to take care of us, be romantic, sensitive, caring, brave, look like Michael Ealy.. oh wait that’s my list! LOL. But you get the picture, on both sides there is this insurmountable pressure to get it right.
With all of this it’s no wonder we sometimes tend to spiral into a roller-coaster basket-case of over-thinking, and over-analyzing. I remember in my own relating to a particular guy, I tried so hard that I lost myself. I truly became overly pleasing, acquiescing, and in my view brain dead. Well maybe that’s a bit harsh, but I couldn’t have had much of a brain if I allowed myself to become so unlike me in an effort to present myself as a good catch. I mean the Bible says the Lord (the GOD of heaven and earth) delights in me, and I was worried about keeping a guy’s affection!
Now I know that not every woman worries constantly when steering through this what can be the relationship mine-field, and I know that guys are just so chill (don’t worry men, I won’t tell the readers that some of you sometimes stress over relating to women). I must also admit that there are the enlightened, and have it all together few. (Kudos to you, and please drop me a line or send up a prayer for us to get to your place of nirvana). But, for the rest of us who worry, get tongue-tied, practice our lines in the mirror, and re-read our texts one hundred times, I encourage you to say this freeing statement with me, “GOD IS IN CONTROL”. Do you feel any different? No? Well, that’s because that is just a statement. A nicely worded jump-start to my main point that we don’t have to have it all together. Our plans can fail us. The time we spend pre-planning the conversation, worrying why he/she hasn’t responded to the message we “know” they saw (I tell you technology has upped the ante in the relationship world), we lose sight of the fact that we can plan all we want but God is in control. We have read it many times but let’s refresh our memory and renew our minds with the Word (the real antidote).
“Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand”. Proverbs 19:21 (AMP)
God’s plans are sovereign and they will prevail. He has everything under control. Seriously, He handled the creation of the world and was able to get rest at the end of it. He pre-planned salvation knowing that we would need it. (It seems that one rule thing proved tricky for Adam and Eve, but I am not judging). With all of this I am certain He can handle the relationship dance we start when we meet the objects of our affection. I am firm believer that God is a Lord of providence. Whoever He brings into your life He will and can take care of everything once we are submitted to Him; that’s a promise. He is faithful. Be free. Take the “God is in control” pill and let it be the antidote to your anxiety.